Friday, November 28, 2008

Is Romance in a virtual world real?



Is Romance in a virtual world real?
By alexanderkeenan

Romance in the virtual world, is it really that different than in the real world? I started this project to look at Transreality which is about goods and/or services that have aspects in the real world and the digital world. What I am finding is that romance itself has become transreal. Romance can now exist in both the real world and the new virtual worlds. I guess I should not be surprised because relationships have existed throughout history so long as both parties could communicate in some manner. The Internet has been all about communication. So it has become another means of allowing a romance.

What’s new to all of this is the 3-D virtual worlds and the use of Avatars. To understand why, you really have to go back in time to a period before the first PC. To a time when the first Role Playing games came out, such as Dungeons and Dragons. What people found back then was that for some people the roles they played in the game became their alter egos. Some people became depressed and emotionally impacted when their character died in the game.

Now jump to 2007 and current avatars used in 3-D virtual worlds and the book titled “Alter Ego, Avatars and their creators”. In the book Robbie Cooper, Julian Dibbell, and Tracy Spaight let people who use avatars in different virtual worlds explain a little about their avatars. As you read through the book you see how avatars can become an extension of the people who use them in a 3-D virtual world.

So what do avatars have to do with romance? Avatars and the whole 3-D virtual environment allow a much deeper emotional involvement then were ever possible before, using the Internet. You have personnel space in a 3-D world. You can choose to share it or prevent others from invading it. Many of our behaviors in real life are reflected when we use an avatar because the avatar becomes an extension of ourselves. In the virtual world call Second Life this has become very clear.

As I traveled through Second Life this week I attended a discussion on relationships in Second Life. The discussion verified a lot of what I had already observed. For those people seeking relationships, many of the guys seem to be looking for sex; many of the women seem to be seeking romance. This can be verified by the fact that you can find clubs where a guy can hire a female escort. Yet you find few clubs setup for a female to hire a male escort. People’s behavior in real life tends to carry over in their virtual life. Unfortunately, this is not really appreciated by the people who “play” the game of romance in the virtual world.

Second Life allows someone to create just that, a second life away from their real life. People meet new people. They make friends and even fall in love. What is interesting is that people have no trouble accepting that the friendships they make in Second Life are real friendships. They may never meet someone in real life but many of the friendships are as important as ones they may have in real life. Now here the interesting part, at the same time they believe that romance in Second Life can be treated as game. They meet someone, share a number of romantic experiences, in some cases they may even hold a virtual wedding. They tell themselves it is just for fun or it is just a game. In the end one of the two ends the relationship for one reason or another. It is when things end and they experience all the emotional pain that they really appreciate just how “Real” their emotional involvement was.

Over the last month or so I have been talking to people about this. I have heard people tell me about talking to their real life partners about their relationships in Second Life. Some have even gotten their partners blessing on their virtual weddings. After all, it is not real, it is just a game, what harm can it do. The trouble is that these romantic relationships in Second Life tend to be short for a number of reasons. I have heard several stories of the people who had the blessing of their partner for a virtual wedding, needing to be comforted emotionally by that same partner when the virtual relationship ended. They were surprised by how real the emotional pain of the breakup was.

At the same time there is another group of people that follow the “What happens in Second Life, stays in Second Life” philosophy. These are the ones who have real life partners who are unaware of their activities in the virtual world.

If you seek virtual sex, or find a romantic partner in a virtual world such as Second Life, are you really cheating on you real life partner? After all Second Life is just a game not real life. Do you really lessen your real life relationship by marrying someone in a virtual wedding that your partner does not know about? These are interesting moral questions for which I only have answers for myself. But as the popularity of virtual worlds and use of avatars grows these are questions that more and more real life couples will have to deal with. For it takes time and emotional energy to maintain any type of romantic relationship.

The Second Best Kind of Love on SL



http://aifriends.blogspot.com/


Best puppies to keep you company while you look 4 love(and might attract some attention for you as well) ~RR

Thursday, November 27, 2008

M.I.T. Futurists Focus on Next-Gen Multimedia

M.I.T. Futurists Focus on Next-Gen Multimedia
by Sindya Bhanoo

The M.I.T Media Lab has announced its latest endeavor -- the creation of a Center for Future Storytelling. The center will use new technologies to make stories more interactive, improvisational and social, according to an official statement.

The center is being funded by a seven-year, US$25 million commitment from Plymouth Rock Studios, a major motion picture and television studio scheduled to open in 2010 south of Boston.

Three researchers from MIT's Media Lab will co-direct the center. They are V. Michael Bove Jr., who studies object-based media and interative television, Cynthia Breazeal, who focuses on robotics, and Ramesh Rasker, who researches imaging, display and performance-capture technologies.

The goal is to create "a sort of living story that can continue to evolve and shape depending on who is listening to it and how they can derive meaning from it," Breazeal said in a taped interview.

The center already has more than a dozen research projects in the works. They include:

Everything Tells A Story: A project that will enable everyday objects to keep running "diaries," of what happened to them. The information could be used for "personal story creation" by individuals.

Tofu: A robot that uses cartoon-animation style movement to work with kids. The researchers describe it as "LEGO Mindstorms meets Muppets." Future versions of Tofu will allow children to design, program and remotely operate their own puppets to tell stories.

Nexi: A project to create a social robot, or a "synthetic performer." The project combines mobility, dexterity, and most remarkably, sociality. The robot's expressive face is capable of multiple human facial expressions. A video of Nexi can be viewed below.

Programmable Movies: A research project to turn movies into a customized experience based on certain parameters like emotions, place or time. The idea is to let users piece together different images using metadata encoded in the images.

MIT's Media Lab was started more than 20 years ago to develop innovative technologies for human expression and interactivity. To read about other projects at the Center for Storytelling, click here.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

SL vs RL Personality

Dissertation study - 3 minute completion, and any help is appreciated

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey everybody, I hope you're all smiles!

For my university dissertation, I’m comparing personality in the physical world (i.e. the 'real world') with personality in the virtual world (i.e. on SecondLife). Theory has suggested a link but little scientific research has actually investigated the link: it is interesting from the perspective of job interviews, online dating, etc.

My study takes around 3 minutes to complete; you basically fill in a completely-anonymous questionnaire about your personality in SecondLife and in the real world. You don't even have to provide your email address!

Any help would be greatly appreciated as I'm trying to get as large a sample as possible. If you could spare literally five minutes then you can complete my questionnaire here (I've tried to make it quick/easy to complete!)

Second Life Personality Type Study


Thanks everybody and if you do have a spare five minutes, then please do try to take the time to help!

James

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Pixilated Wedding


A Pixilated Wedding

On Wedding Design
by Cabel

So, exactly four months ago, I totally got married. This has been a completely great thing, and I highly recommend it. You know, when you're ready.

After the wedding, sometimes people would ask me if everything feels different or more great now that we're married. When I would tell people "actually, not really!", I could naturally sense a little bit of romantic disappointment in their faces, like I'm the Harlequin Grinch. But I don't mean "not that different, yawn" — I mean "not that different, because, honestly, it's always been great." [AWWWW.MP3] My overall advice: when you know, you'll know.

Anyway, I don't want bore you with the personal blah blah blah. Instead, I'd like to talk to you about design...

Wedding design! (Guys? Guys? Stay with me here!)

The Brainstorm
I spent a too-long amount of time brainstorming the foundation of our design. First, I knew I wanted to incorporate Nicole's love of visual contrast — she who is so fond of a super-dark gray cloudy sky with a burst of a blue showing through, or a beautiful flower popping up through tired concrete. Second, I knew that the design had to represent both of us, a little piece of each. I know, right? As much as I'd love to make a wedding invitation with photos of say, photos of the latest flavors of Sun Chips ("You're invited to our peppercorn-ranchuptuals!"), it probably wouldn't play too well outside of, uh, me.

Then, two key words popped into my mind:

Pixel flowers.
...

http://www.cabel.name/2008/10/on-wedding-design.html (go here for the rest of the story!)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Social networking boosts business: study


Social networking boosts business: study
20/11/2008 5:26:14 PM

The use of social networking tools such as Facebook, blogs and even the online game World of Warcraft could improve business, a report based on the opinions of senior executives shows.

The report, Executive Insights into Enterprise Social Network Strategy, showed a number of the participants thought the use of social networking tools at work could help business as it contributed to work-life balance and improved the skills of employees.

"The area of social networks is really critical for us, particularly if we want to provide a seamless service delivery to the client," one executive said.

Other participants said social networking could contribute to employees achieving a good work-life balance.

"We now have mixed personal lives and work lives. Individuals don't make a strong distinction between 9 to 5 and employers don't have to focus on a resource being used just within those hours," one executive said.

The report drew on roundtable discussion with a range of executives in September from companies including IBM, Austrade, AMP and Coca-Cola Amatil and was compiled and completed by business strategy company Future Exploration Network,

One participant said the skills of employees who played World of Warcraft - an online multi-player role-playing game - could be used in the business environment.

"In World of Warcraft people create guilds and syndicates to build their battle strategies ... they operate in an environment of trust and together they execute collaborative tasks," the executive said.

"We think this may be a future business model for the enterprise."

Chairman of company Future Exploration Network Ross Dawson said there had been a transformation in the corporate attitude towards social networking over the past year.

"An initial scepticism and caution from executives has now shifted dramatically where they recognise that these can be extremely valuable for helping organisations perform more effectively," Mr Dawson told AAP.

Some Australian companies were not so positive about using social networking technology in the workplace, Mr Dawson said.

"There's a lot of diversity in the opinions of senior executives, some are still both extremely sceptical and extremely cautious."

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Teenagers’ Internet Socializing Not a Bad Thing

Teenagers’ Internet Socializing Not a Bad Thing
By TAMAR LEWIN

(NYT) Good news for worried parents: All those hours their teenagers spend socializing on the Internet are not a bad thing, according to a new study by the MacArthur Foundation.

“It may look as though kids are wasting a lot of time hanging out with new media, whether it’s on MySpace or sending instant messages,” said Mizuko Ito, lead researcher on the study, “Living and Learning With New Media.” “But their participation is giving them the technological skills and literacy they need to succeed in the contemporary world. They’re learning how to get along with others, how to manage a public identity, how to create a home page.”

The study, conducted from 2005 to last summer, describes new-media usage but does not measure its effects.

“It certainly rings true that new media are inextricably woven into young people’s lives,” said Vicki Rideout, vice president of the Kaiser Family Foundation and director of its program for the study of media and health. “Ethnographic studies like this are good at describing how young people fit social media into their lives. What they can’t do is document effects. This highlights the need for larger, nationally representative studies.”

Ms. Ito, a research scientist in the department of informatics at the University of California, Irvine, said that some parental concern about the dangers of Internet socializing might result from a misperception.

“Those concerns about predators and stranger danger have been overblown,” she said. “There’s been some confusion about what kids are actually doing online. Mostly, they’re socializing with their friends, people they’ve met at school or camp or sports.”

The study, part of a $50 million project on digital and media learning, used several teams of researchers to interview more than 800 young people and their parents and to observe teenagers online for more than 5,000 hours. Because of the adult sense that socializing on the Internet is a waste of time, the study said, teenagers reported many rules and restrictions on their electronic hanging out, but most found ways to work around such barriers that let them stay in touch with their friends steadily throughout the day.

“Teens usually have a ‘full-time intimate community’ with whom they communicate in an always-on mode via mobile phones and instant messaging,” the study said.

This is not news to a cluster of Bronx teenagers, gathered after school on Wednesday to tell a reporter about their social routines. All of them used MySpace and instant messaging to stay in touch with a dozen or two of their closest friends every evening. “As soon as I get home, I turn on my computer,” said a 15-year-old boy who started his MySpace page four years ago. “My MySpace is always on, and when I get a message on MySpace, it sends a text message to my phone. It’s not an obsession; it’s a necessity.” (School rules did not permit using students’ names without written parental permission, which could not be immediately obtained.)

Only one student, a 14-year-old girl, had ever opted out — and she lasted only a week.

“It didn’t work,” she said. “You become addicted. You can’t live without it.”

In a situation familiar to many parents, the study describes two 17-year-olds, dating for more than a year, who wake up and log on to their computers between taking showers and doing their hair, talk on their cellphones as they travel to school, exchange text messages through the school day, then get together after school to do homework — during which time they also play a video game — talk on the phone during the evening, perhaps ending the night with a text-messaged “I love you.”

Teenagers also use new media to explore new romantic relationships, through interactions casual enough to ensure no loss of face if the other party is not interested.

The study describes two early Facebook messages, or “wall posts,” by teenagers who eventually started dating. First, the girl posted a message saying, “hey ... hm. wut to say? iono lol/well I left you a comment ... u sud feel SPECIAL haha.” (Translation: Hmm ... what to say? I don’t know. Laugh out loud. Well I left you a comment ... You should feel special.)

A day later, the boy replied, “hello there ... umm I don’t know what to say, but at least I wrote something ...”

While online socializing is ubiquitous, many young people move on to a period of tinkering and exploration, as they look for information online, customize games or experiment with digital media production, the study found.

For example, a Brooklyn teenager did a Google image search to look at a video card and find out where in a computer such cards are, then installed his own.

What the study calls “geeking out” is the most intense Internet use, in which young people delve deeply into a particular area of interest, often through a connection to an online interest group.

“New media allow for a degree of freedom and autonomy for youth that is less apparent in a classroom setting,” the study said. “Youth respect one another’s authority online, and they are often more motivated to learn from peers than from adults.”

Friday, November 21, 2008

eHarmony to create same-sex service, settling complaint



eHarmony to create same-sex service, settling complaint


NEW YORK (CNN) -- Online dating site eHarmony will create a service for same-sex matching in a settlement of a 2005 complaint that the company's failure to offer such a service was discriminatory.

The new same-sex matching service from eHarmony, Compatible Partners, is set to debut by March 31.

Under terms of the agreement with the New Jersey attorney general's office, eHarmony Inc. will start the service, called Compatible Partners, by March 31.

"With the launch of the Compatible Partners site, our policy is to welcome all single individuals who are genuinely seeking long-term relationships," said Antone Johnson, eHarmony vice president of legal affairs.

The company and its founder, Neil Clark Warren, admit no wrongdoing or liability.

"Even though we believed that the complaint resulted from an unfair characterization of our business, we ultimately decided it was best to settle this case with the attorney general, since litigation outcomes can be unpredictable," eHarmony attorney Theodore B. Olson said.

Under the settlement's terms, eHarmony will post photos of successful same-sex couple matches on the company's Web site and in promotional material. The company has also agreed to revise statements on its Web sites, handbooks and other publications to indicate that it does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

The settlement also requires eHarmony to pay plaintiff Eric McKinley $5,000 and to pay the New Jersey Division on Civil Rights $50,000 to cover administrative expenses.

CNN was unable to reach McKinley for comment.

According to the company, on average, more than 236 heterosexual eHarmony members are married every day in the United States.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Avatar Romance: A Virtual Love Story Comic Strip

Avatar Romance: A Virtual Love Story Comic Strip
by Ara Vella

http://www.peggynelson.com/avatar/#

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Couple wed after 'Second Life' romance



Couple wed after 'Second Life' romance

A British couple said they split from their partners and moved in together after falling in love online via Second Life.

Steve Sweet, 47, and Kristen Birkin, 33, said their avatars met in the online world at a virtual Duran Duran concert, leading them to cyber-date for five months and eventually marry inside the Second Life world, The Daily Telegraph reported Friday.

Sweet said he did not feel like he was being unfaithful to his partner of 23 years until he met his Internet love in person.

I hadn't felt as though I was being unfaithful when I was online, although I did feel a bit uncomfortable with what I was doing, he said. But once I met Kristen it took the whole thing to another level, so I felt the only decent thing to do was to come clean, because I couldn't lead a double life.

Sweet and Birkin said they split from their partners and wed in real life on the anniversary of their Second Life marriage. The couple said they named their daughter Kira, after the name Birkin gave her Second Life avatar.

Second Life is an online virtual world where users may interact.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Wonderland_-_Virtual_Adultery_and_Cyberspace_Love_

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Wife dumps husband over 'virtual affair'


Wife dumps husband over 'virtual affair'

A woman has divorced her husband after she caught him repeatedly "cheating" on her in the online game Second Life (see pic of the couple above).

British woman Amy Taylor, 28, fell in love with countryman David Pollard, 40, after they met in an internet chat forum.

The pair met up in person and married in July 2005, but both maintained a strong presence online by setting up avatars — virtual representations of themselves — in the game Second Life.

But their relationship ran into to trouble when Ms Taylor arrived home one night to find Mr Pollard at the computer watching his avatar have sex with a prostitute.

When she confronted him about it, Mr Pollard insisted the online encounter meant nothing and maintained he was being faithful to her.

"I went mad — I was so hurt," she was quoted as saying in UK tabloid The Daily Mail.

"But he didn't see it as a problem, and couldn't see why I was so upset. He said I was just making a big fuss and tried to make out it was my fault for not giving him enough attention."

The pair then reconciled — until another incident in April this year when Ms Taylor caught her husband's character canoodling a young female avatar on a couch.

She demanded to view her husband's chat history after learning the female character belonged to a real-life woman in the United States.

But Mr Pollard erased the records before she could look at them.

"I ended up going off in floods of tears," she said.

"He confessed he'd been talking to this woman player in America for one or two weeks, and said our marriage was over and he didn't love me anymore, and we should never have got married."

Ms Taylor said she filed for divorce the next day.

But in a further twist in the tale, the recent divorcee is now seeing a man she met in another virtual universe — World of Warcraft.

Her new romance had helped her move on from a "terrible" period in her life, she said.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Researchers find racial bias in virtual worlds



Researchers find racial bias in virtual worlds

Real-world behaviours and racial biases could carry forward into virtual worlds such as Second Life, social psychologists say.

According to a study that was conducted in There.com, virtual world avatars respond to social cues in the same ways that people do in the real world.

There.com is a relatively unstructured virtual world that brands itself as an online getaway where users can hang out with friends and explore an immense, unusual landscape.

Users, who were unaware that they were part of a psychological study, were approached by a researcher’s avatar for either a ‘foot-in-the-door’ (FITD) or ‘door-in-the-face’ (DITF) experiment.

The FITD technique works by first asking a participant to comply with a small request -– which, in this experiment, was “Can I take a screenshot of you?” -- followed by a moderate request: “Would you teleport to Duda Beach with me and let me take a screenshot of you?”

Participants who fulfilled the small request are expected to be likely to see himself or herself as being helpful, and thus be more likely to fulfil the subsequent larger request.

The DITF technique work works in an opposite way: the experimenter first makes an unreasonably large request to which the responder is expected to say no, followed by a more moderate request.

In the DITF condition, that large request was to have screenshots taken in 50 different locations, which would have required about two hours of teleporting and travelling.

As the researchers expected, DITF participants were found to be more likely to comply with the moderate request when it was preceded by the large request, than when the moderate request was presented alone.

But while results of the FITD experiment revealed no racial bias, the effect of the DITF technique was significantly reduced when the experimenter took the form of a dark-skinned avatar.

White avatars in the DITF experiment received about a 20 percent increase in compliance with the moderate request; however, the increase for the dark-toned avatars was 8 percent.

According to the researchers, skin colour had no effect on FITD experiments because the elicited psychological effect is related to how a person views himself or herself, and not others.

However, the DITF technique is said to reflect a psychological tendency to reciprocate the requester's ‘concession’ from a relatively unreasonable request to a more moderate request, and thus is affected by whether the requester is deemed worthy of impressing.

The finding is consistent with previous DITF studies -- in real and virtual worlds -- that demonstrate that physical characteristics, such as race, gender and physical attractiveness, affect judgment of others.

Numerous studies done in the real world show that people are more uncomfortable with minorities and are less likely to help them.

“This study suggests that interactions among strangers within the virtual world are very similar to interactions between strangers in the real world,” said Paul W. Eastwick, who conducted the study at the Northwestern University.

“You would think when you're wandering around this fantasyland … that you might behave differently,” he said. “But people exhibited the same type of behaviour -- and the same type of racial bias -- that they show in the real world all the time.”

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Sex, science and the art of seduction: What really makes us attractive to the opposite sex


Sex, science and the art of seduction: What really makes us attractive to the opposite sex
By Jena Pincott

Humans have long been baffled by just what shapes sexual attraction. Why do we find some people beautiful and others not? And is there anything we can do to make ourselves more attractive?

In her fascinating new book, Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?, American science journalist Jena Pincott collates scores of academic studies to reveal what really makes us attractive to the opposite sex.

Symmetry: Gwyneth Paltrow
What makes a face beautiful?



What magic do the beautiful have that most of us lack? Neuroscientists, psychologists and anthropologists have all taken a stab at deconstructing facial beauty.

Overall, they’ve focused on three measures: averageness (how closely the size and shape of facial features match the average), symmetry (how closely the two sides of the face match) and sexual dimorphism (how feminine or masculine the face appears).

We’re talking about only facial shape and features here, not age, expression or complexion.

You might think the first one, averageness, seems odd. By definition, isn’t average just average? But most of us don’t have average features. When compared to the average, your eyes may be too wide or close-set, your eyebrows uneven or your nose too sharp.

When a computer-generated composite is created by merging a whole series of faces together, it’s possible to see a single face which could be described as the average of all the other faces (with the average-sized nose and the average-sized jaw and so on).

In academic tests, judges rate that average face as more attractive than any one of the faces that constitute it. The more faces that are blended in the composite, the more attractive the result.

So what draws us all to the middle? Researchers have several theories. For one, familiarity breeds attraction: we learn to identify patterns in the faces we see around us, and that means that medium - or average - proportions would be more familiar to us than distinctive features such as potato noses, wide-set eyes, underbites and chipmunk cheeks.

That, in turn, makes them more attractive.

Conversely, distinctive and unattractive features may subconsciously warn us of the presence of undesirable, recessive genes.

Looking at portraits of the inbred Habsburgs, you can see how members of one of the ruling houses of Europe shared the same DNA to the extent that their looks and health suffered - it shows up in their protruding lower lips and misshapen noses.

Aside from these inbuilt adult reactions to beauty, studies with babies also suggest that ‘beauty detectors’ are hard-wired in our brains from birth.

Infants as young as one day old, when exposed simultaneously to beautiful and unattractive faces, consistently gaze longer at the attractive faces.

The neural mechanism that enables babies to distinguish beautiful from plain is unknown, but it is widely agreed that it exists. People from different cultures also generally agree on what faces are attractive or not.

Symmetry, the second measure of beauty, can make or break the beauty equation. Look at actress Gwyneth Paltrow for an example of a beautiful but slightly atypical face. Her mouth is wider than average, and so is the space between her eyes. On another person these distinctive features might not be so stunning, but Gwyneth’s face happens to be perfectly symmetrical.

This is also true of supermodels Kate Moss, Christy Turlington and Cindy Crawford (minus the mole). Not all beautiful faces are symmetrical, and not all symmetrical faces are beautiful, but symmetry often plays a role in attraction.

Like averageness, symmetry suggests a certain physical robustness. If you grow up with symmetrical features - despite risk of disease, genetic mutations, starvation, pollution and parasites - there’s a better chance you’re fit and healthy and your body can ward off infection.

Researchers at the University of New Mexico measured the chin length, jaws, lip width, eye width and height of more than 400 men and women to determine their facial symmetry.

Comparing the results against each participant’s health records, they found that people with the most symmetrical features were healthier (i.e. had shorter and fewer respiratory infections and took fewer antibiotics).

Masculinity or femininity (sexual dimorphism) is the third measure of attractiveness. In men, the hormone testosterone is behind prominent jawlines and cheekbones, thicker brow ridges, larger noses, smaller eyes, thinner lips, facial hair and a relatively long lower half of the face.

Women are attracted to rugged, masculine faces because they signal strong immune systems and, potentially, high fertility.

Oestrogen is behind the ‘beauty’ that men perceive in female faces. It plumps out women’s lips and skin and produces smaller and pointier chins, smaller noses, rounder cheekbones, eyebrows high above the eyes and a bottom of the face that is narrower than the top half.




Voluptuous: Nigella Lawson
Why big breasts ARE best



Nobody has a definitive answer as to why women’s breasts are so sexy and get so big, but all theories have something to do with fertility.


Evolutionary psychologists suggest that cleavage serves as a sort of proxy for the swollen rumps that other female primates get in heat.


Freudian psychologists offer theories about men’s Oedipus complex: they’re always looking for a mother figure (literally). Anthropologists believe that women developed larger, permanent breasts as our species adapted to a harsher environment and became bigger-brained and bipedal.


By storing fat reserves in their chests (and thighs and bottoms) year-round, even when not nursing, our foremothers survived the elements and the rigours of pregnancy, birth and child-rearing.


Large breasts may be a sign of increased fertility, which could help explain why so many men think bigger busts are better: the fat that accumulates in your chest (as well as your bottom, thighs and hips) does so under the influence of the hormone oestrogen, which also affects your ability to conceive.


A study by Harvard epidemiologist Grazyna Jasienska found that full-figured women are roughly three times as likely to get pregnant as women with other body types. (To qualify in the study, the circumference of your torso around your breasts would have to be at least 20 per cent larger than it is under your breasts.)


Breasts are an advertisement of age, health and good genes, which is why anthropologists think they’re crucial to sexual selection even in cultures that don’t eroticise the chest any more than the face.

Wrinkles? Don't despair


Think those fine lines and wrinkles make you less attractive to the opposite sex? Not necessarily.

In scientific tests, men gave low attractiveness ratings to older-looking faces when asked who they saw as a potential partner for a short-term relationship.


No surprise here - men are biased towards youthful-looking women with childbearing years ahead, and they generally marry women who are younger. However, intriguingly, if a man’s mother was over 30 when he was born, he was likely to be more tolerant of ageing in women’s faces in the context of a long-term relationship.


Only the mother’s age at his birth, not the father’s, influenced a man’s acceptance of older looking women’s faces. This may have to do with sexual inprinting, the tendency for a person to seek a mate who resembles his or her opposite-sex parent. (This means if you’re trying to gauge a man’s tolerance to ageing faces, it doesn’t hurt to ask him how old Mum was when he was born.)


Further research will reveal whether men with older mums more often marry older women. There’s evidence that women with older dads more often marry older men.


Blonde appeal: Marilyn Monroe

Sorry girls, but gentlemen DO prefer blondes


It's a cliche - but research shows that yes, in most of Europe and America, there does seem to be a male preference for blonde women. According to Canadian anthropologist Peter Frost, this was true during the Ice Age when, because of the extreme dangers associated with hunting for food, there were far fewer men than women.


Although there was a surfeit of females, the men who were around were unable to take on more than one ‘wife’ because of the daily challenges of supporting a family, and they often chose a blonde.


Fair hair then was very rare and stood out in a sea of brunettes. And as we know from walking into any shop, visual merchandising is the key to success. For ancestral Europeans, blonde hair was the equivalent of brilliant, shiny packaging. Modern men are attracted to blonde hair for the same reason: it’s eye-catching.


The human eye is attracted to light, bright colours, so blondes stand out more than brunettes and even redheads. Blonde hair is also associated with youth and fertility, as hair colour naturally darkens with age.


According to a study by Polish psychologists, men clearly prefer blondes when judging the appearance of women older than 25. Hair colours are more desirable when they’re uncommon, too. In most countries, blonde is usually the unique and the most eye-catching - but not everywhere. In Scandinavia, where blondes are commonplace, men often say they prefer brunettes.


Likewise, when researchers at the University of Washington asked male subjects to choose which woman they’d desire as a partner among selections of brunettes and blondes, the preference for a brunette increased in proportion to the rarity of brunettes in the selection. (However, if a shade is so rare that it’s virtually nonexistent, such as blonde in Africa and Asia, men may not necessarily prefer it.)


Another factor that can play a part in a man’s hair colour preference is sexual imprinting - which means that a man has a bias towards a mate who resembles his parents.


A man with a dark-haired mother might be more likely to choose a brunette for a long-term relationship.


Heighten your appeal: Wearing heels makes you statuesque
How heels can heighten your appeal


Wearing heels makes you statuesque. Feet look smaller and your gait is more refined. Your calves and shins are tensed and elongated. Your posture is bolt upright.


Anatomically speaking, in heels you’re doing what chimps do when they’re in heat: standing on tiptoe, arching your back and making your bottom stick out.


The movement of your lower limbs becomes more sensual. It’s hard for others not to notice the sway of your hips, the thrust of your breasts, the incline of your pelvis. High-heeled shoes adjust women’s body proportions to come closer to perceived ideals, too (in Western countries, at least).


Researchers at the University of Wroclaw in Poland asked more than 200 men and women to rate the attractiveness of diagrams of seven men and seven women with varying leg lengths.


Both sexes agreed that a leg length that is 5 per cent longer than the norm for a person’s height is ideal. This means that if the average leg length of a 5ft 5in woman is 30in, as measured from the sole of the foot to the crease where the thigh meets the pelvis, a woman this height could make her legs look 5 per cent longer by wearing 1.5in heels.


In the study, legs that were 10 per cent longer than average were also considered sexy, but legs 15per cent longer were not. Generally speaking, if you’re between 5ft 4in and 5ft 8in, heels up to 3-3.5in will flatter your proportions - anything higher starts to look odd.


Also, focusing on proportions, a study at University College in London found the ideal female figure had legs exactly 1.4 times the length of the upper body, which is the legtotorso ratio of Nicole Kidman, Naomi Campbell and most other supermodels.


When 5ft 11in Kidman and 5ft 7in Tom Cruise divorced, she said with palpable relief: ‘Now I can wear heels.’ The truth is, she doesn’t need them.


Secrets of the perfect body


From a hundred feet away, a man can’t see your beautiful eyes or your luscious lips. He can’t hear your witty jokes or touch your dewy skin.


However, by merely glancing at your figure he’ll glean a lot about your age, health and reproductive potential. That’s because he can instantly assess your waist-to-hip ratio (WHR).


A woman’s waist-to-hip ratio is one of the most important cues in sexual attraction. The smaller your waist is in proportion to your hips, the curvier you appear.


The ‘golden ratio’ is said to be around 0.7 - that is, a waist that is seven-tenths the width of the hips, regardless of weight.


That’s the approximate WHR of female figurines unearthed from prehistoric sites, of statues of the fertility goddess Venus, of the wasp-waisted dancing girls in ancient Hindu paintings, of corseted Victorian ladies and even of beauties such as Twiggy, Kate Moss and Marilyn Monroe. (Yes, slender and buxom women can have the same WHR.)

Little and large: Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni
... and why women look up to some men

Size matters to women. In a study of 10,000 men, the ideal male height was 6ft. That’s significantly taller than 5ft 9in, the height of the average man in North America and Europe.


Men 6ft or taller are more likely to have children than the average-height man, and are also more likely to remarry in middle age and have a second family with a younger wife.


In fewer than 1 per cent of marriages is a woman taller than her husband. In short, we want men so tall we look up to them even when we’re wearing our stilettos. (It’s mutual: men prefer shorter partners.) This is happy news for tall men, who enjoy other advantages. In some primordial way, height translates into social stature, even in jobs where you’d think brainpower would prevail.


Taller people are seen as more intelligent, more dominant and better leaders. They’re also better-paid.
But when wealth or power compensates, short guys aren’t shortchanged. Look at Carla Bruni and her 5ft 5in spouse Nicolas Sarkozy.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Online divorcee jailed for killing virtual hubby

Online divorcee jailed for killing virtual hubby

TOKYO (AP) – A 43-year-old player in a virtual game world became so angry about her sudden divorce from her online husband that she logged on with his password and killed his digital persona, police said.

The woman, who has been jailed on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data, used his ID and password to log onto the popular interactive game “Maple Story” to carry out the virtual murder in May, a police official in the northern city of Sapporo said Thursday. He spoke on condition of anonymity because of department policy.

“I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry,” the official quoted her as telling investigators and admitting the allegations.

The woman, a piano teacher, had not plotted any revenge in the real world, the official said.

She has not yet been formally charged. If convicted, she could face up to five years in prison or a fine up to $5,000.

Players in “Maple Story” create and manipulate digital images called “avatars” that represent themselves, while engaging in relationships, social activities and fighting monsters and other obstacles.

In virtual worlds, players often abandon their inhibitions, engaging in activity online that they would never do in the real world. For instance, sex with strangers is a common activity.

The woman used log in information she got from the 33-year-old office worker when their characters were happily married to kill the character. The man complained to police when he discovered that his online avatar was dead.

The woman was arrested Wednesday and taken 1,000 kilometers from her home in southern Miyazaki to be detained in Sapporo, where the man lives, the official said.

The police official said he did not know if she was married in the real world.

Bad online behavior is usually handled within the rules set up by online worlds, which can ban miscreants or take away their virtual possessions.

In recent years, misbehavior in the virtual world has in some cases had consequences in reality.

In August, a woman was charged in the US state of Delaware with plotting the real-life abduction of a boyfriend she met through the virtual reality website “Second Life.”

In Tokyo, a 16-year-old boy was charged with stealing the ID and password from a fellow player of an online game in order to swindle virtual currency worth $360,000.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Nerds rejoice: Braininess boosts likelihood of sex



Nerds rejoice: Braininess boosts likelihood of sex
Women Proved to Be Decent Judges of Intelligence, Study Says
By EWEN CALLAWAY

Lonely men ought to flaunt their copies of New Scientist. Women looking for both one-night stands and long-term relationships go for geniuses over dumb jocks, according to a new study of hundreds of university students.

"Women want the best of both worlds. Not only a physically attractive man, but somebody in the long term who can provide for them," says Mark Prokosch, an evolutionary psychologist at Elon University in North Carolina, who led the study.

To many women, a smart man will appeal because he is likely to be clever enough to keep his family afloat. But he may also pass on "good" genes to his children, say Prokosch and his colleagues at the University of California, Davis.

Rather than ask women to rate qualities they seek in men, as other studies had done, Prokosch's team asked 15 college men to perform a series of tasks on camera.

The volunteers read news reports, explained why they would be a good date, and what would be the ramifications of the discovery of life on Mars. They also threw and caught a Frisbee to parade their physical appeal. Each potential suitor also took a quantitative test of verbal intelligence.

Smart is sexy More than 200 women watched a series of these videos before rating each man's intelligence, attractiveness, creativity and appeal for a short-term or long-term relationship.

While the difference between short- and long-term mates may amount to a boozy decision students face each weekend, it has some evolutionary significance, Prokosch says. In potential husbands, women look for signs that a man might be a good provider and father. In one-night stands, women are on the prowl for little more than good genes, not to mention a good time.

Women proved to be decent judges of intelligence, with their scores generally matching each man's intelligence test results.

As for picking a bed-mate, the men's actual smartness proved a reliable indicator of their appeal for both brief hook-ups and serious relationships  which came as something of a surprise. Other studies have suggested that, for women anticipating short-term relationships, a man's braininess isn't foremost in their minds.

The disparate results may be due to women's lack of awareness that intelligence also affects the attractiveness of candidates for quick flings  how intelligent women perceived a man to be influenced his desirability as a long-term mate much more than his appeal for a one-night stand.

Bright and beautiful Martie Haselton, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of California in Los Angeles, also notes that although women were good judges of intelligence, they weren't perfect. In many cases, women rated good hook-ups as dunces, when their intelligence scores indicated otherwise.

"There could be aspects of intelligence that we pick up on when we interact with a person and that affect our assessment of them, even if we wouldn't label it as intelligence," she says.

But some things never change. Looks were still a much more powerful predictor of sex appeal than brains. "Women are still going for the hunk," Prokosch says. "If you had an option to pick from five different people, you would pick the most attractive one."

So in a perfect world, women want a Nobel prize winner with movie-star looks. Creativity also proved to be a sought-after trait, and Prokosch's team is currently working on an objective measure of creativity, similar to the intelligence test they used.

However, in a world of limited resources, not every woman gets what she wants, and some are bound to fall for ugly, unintelligent and uncreative men. "There's always other people out there that find everything attractive," Prokosch says.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

How To Keep Him From Cheating


How To Keep Him From Cheating
A new book on why some men stray, and what women can do to stop it.
by Jessica Ramirez
NEWSWEEK

Google the words "marriage and affair" and you get more than 17 million variations on how to heal. That's because "fidelity in marriage"—which only gets about 3½ million hits—is a hard thing to come by these days. Some statistics say that roughly 50 percent of married men will cheat, and at least 81 percent won't admit to it even after a woman asks that searing question.

It was watching these statistics play out in his practice that prompted family counselor, rabbi and best-selling author Gary Neuman to embark on a two-year study of 100 men who had sexual affairs and 100 men who were faithful. He shared his findings in the new book, "The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do To Prevent It." Neuman spoke to NEWSWEEK's Jessica Ramirez.

Excerpts:

NEWSWEEK: I think a woman's first instinct when seeing the cover of your book is, " Why do I have to prevent this? Why doesn't he just not cheat? "

Gary Neuman: There is clearly no blame on the woman if he's cheated. She's not responsible for stopping him. However, the fact that you're not responsible does not mean that you don't want to take an active role in your relationship to bring out the best in your husband, as he should for you. I've been a marriage counselor for more than 20 years now. I think [hearing] women who have had the overwhelming pain of being cheated on and the subsequent disaster for the kids definitely made me want to find out what they could do other than be victims. Was there something they could do to prevent this and create a mutually beneficial relationship? When I was on [the] "Oprah" show, I talked about 9/11 firefighters who had helped the wives of their fallen comrades and ended up having affairs with them. I think that [example] showed that a lot of men are essentially good people. They make mistakes, but that's not who they are. So a lot of women are married to men who are good but that does not mean they are not susceptible to ultimately cheating.

What did you find was the No. 1 reason men cheat?

I think most people ascribe to the theory that men cheat for sex. Women are being told that unless they are unbelievable sexy and have a Ph.D. in prostitution education then the husband is going to cheat. But when the results came in [from my study] only 8 percent of cheaters said that sexual dissatisfaction was a primary contributor [in cheating] and only 12 percent said the mistress was better looking or in better shape than their wives. It really started to show a completely different pattern than what most expect. In fact, the majority—48 percent—said that the cheating was about an emotional disconnection.

What was causing this emotional disconnection?

The No. 1reason was feeling underappreciated. It was a lack of thoughtful and kind gestures. What I found is that men are far more insecure than they let on, and they do want to please their wives and feel valued. They like to win and as long as they are winning with their wife then they stay in the game. It is feeling underappreciated and like they can't win—and maybe they do things that make it hard for her to appreciate him—that usually leads them into dangerous waters. Appreciation is what they first and foremost get from the mistress.

You said women make a mistake in thinking, "If I appreciate him, he'll never change." Why is that a mistake?

Women are always worried that if they are really nice to him, he will just take it in and not do anything. Well, men generally do want to give, and appreciation motivates them. If you appreciate your husband for the next week, and he asks what's going on, then it leads to a positive conversation where you can also share what you want. You're taking the lead and modeling the behavior that you desire in your spouse.

This relationship between "appreciation" and a man's need to "win"—how does that play out in the home?


Just watch your husband view a ballgame. You would imagine from the way he's yelling that he has part ownership in the team he's cheering for. That's because men have been trained since they were little that winning and accomplishing is much of their definition. So they will watch a game to the bitter end if they [or their team] can stay in it. [In the home,] for example, if the husband makes breakfast and burns it, he still feels like he made a gesture. But if those sorts of gestures are met with what he did wrong instead of what he tried to do right, then that becomes, "I can't win."

What sort of behavior will a man exhibit if this leads him to start thinking of cheating?

The No. 1 sign is more time being spent away from home. The No. 2 sign was less sex, and the No. 3 sign was avoidance of your contact, like cell-phone calls. What these things are saying is that a man is emotionally and sexually moving away from a spouse.

How should a wife address this?

When you see these things happening bring it up in a positive way. Ask him, "Do you remember when we were dating? I want to get back to that. I don't want to wait until the kids are in college. I want to have some fun." This is all about empowering women. There are a lot of marriage books out there that give you a hundred things to do. They're all pretty good if you have time to do all hundred. I'm suggesting that you look at the signs that are going to mean the most and then do something about them. Don't do what so many of us do, which is hold our breath and hope [the problem] goes away.

What can couples do to get a relationship back on track and sustain it?

I talk about having four 45-minute periods of uninterrupted time a week where both turn off their CrackBerrys and they just spend time alone talking or playing board games or reading. They should also have one night a week where they do date night. It should be the same night every week, so get a babysitter ahead of time, and do not talk about three things—money, business or the kids. Everybody always says, "Well, then what are we going to talk about?" I say, "I don't know, but I promise that when you were falling in love you weren't constantly talking about the stresses of money, business and kids. If you did, you would not have gotten married. It's not what got you here, and it is not what is going to sustain you." I also suggest something that bothers a lot of women and that's locking your door at night. I'm talking about after the kids are settled in, and it's not necessarily to have more sex. The idea is just to say there is a space for your marriage that does not include everybody else.

According to your study, there's a 93 percent chance that if your husband's cheated he won't just admit it. What does a woman do if she thinks he already has?

No. 1 is talk about it. When women approach their husband with this issue then there's already a problem even if he's not cheating. When he says, "no way" or "what are you, crazy?" a lot of times the conversation ends there. That's remarkable to me because that's the last thing that should happen. The conversation should continue to where she says, "Listen, maybe you're cheating on me or maybe you're telling me the truth, but the fact that I'm asking you this means we are way out of sync. What are we going to do now to get back into sync?" No. 2, if you really think he is cheating—and he won't admit to it—then you should look at his cell-phone records or his e-mail. The next thing going up the ladder is a GPS magnet that you can place on his car to see if he's being honest about where he's been. Another option is hiring [a private] investigator or asking him to take a lie-detector test.

There are also men—12 percent of those you surveyed—who will cheat no matter what. How can a wife tell if he's worth trusting again?

If you have a husband who does not show remorse, is not willing to be completely transparent moving forward and is not truly apologetic for what he has already done, then I don't see how a woman could entrust her vulnerability to that man again.

Have the marital problems you've mentioned in your book always been this bad? Or is sustaining a marriage just more difficult now?

I think [marital problems] have gotten significantly worst because of technology. We had difficulty finding space to be with our spouses before and now in the age of text-messaging, BlackBerrys and e-mail it has become impossible for some to truly have their spouse's focus for any extended period of time. Vacations are no longer about vacationing. At any moment you could have to respond to an e-mail and people make a mistake to say, "It's only five minutes." It's five minutes, but it has disturbed the whole flow of the relationship. We are never going to be able to microwave a relationship. It's something that requires time and energy. I don't think we're poorer communicators. I think it's basic. It's kindness and appreciation and gestures that really do mean a lot and that's where we need to be putting our focus.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Can DNA Tests Help Find True Love?


Can DNA Tests Help Find True Love?
ScientificMatch.com Claims Matching Users According to DNA Will Result in True Love
By EMILY FRIEDMAN

If you're looking for true love, one new online dating Web site says that the key may lay inside&your cheek, that is.

ScientificMatch.com, a dating service launched earlier this week, is pledging to take relationships to "a whole new era" by becoming the first site to offer its customers DNA testing in an attempt to find the perfect mate.

Customers, who must pay $1,995 to join, are asked to swab the inside of their cheeks with a provided cotton swab, send it to a laboratory for testing, and then sit back and wait for the scientists to determine their immune system's genetic makeup.

"This is going to revolutionize the entire dating industry," said Eric Holzle, the founder of ScientificMatch.com. "We're providing the most perfect dating service that you're going to get, the best of both worlds."

"Everyone advertises chemistry, we're the only one that offers it," Holzle told ABC News.

Once a member's immune system genetics are determined, said Holzle, they are then matched to other members who have the opposite gene makeup.

According to Holzle, scientific research says that two parents with different immune system genes have a much greater chance of producing healthier offspring.

"Unlike your eye color  which is usually determined by either your mother or your father  your immune system is defined equally by both parents," explained Holzle, who is not a trained medical professional, but actually a mechanical engineer.

"Therefore, if both parents have varying immune system genes, the resulting baby will have a wide array of immune system genes, which means a more robust immune system."

Besides the unusual DNA test, the site is similar in many ways to other popular online dating services: Members can post photographs of themselves and information in their member profiles that their matches will be able to browse.

And unlike other dating sites like Match.com and EHarmony.com, Holzle said there are a few features on ScientificMatch.com  besides the DNA testing  that set it apart from its competitors.

A background check is performed on each member  the site will decline membership to convicted felons or anyone with a history of violent, sexual or Internet criminal activity and there is no censorship of member profiles, even when it comes to individual's photographs.

But it's not the opportunity for vulgarity or the stringent background checks that has people talking. It's the idea that ScientificMatch.com is suggesting true love can be found at the end of a cotton swab, a premise medical professionals say is highly unlikely.

Human Attraction More Complex Than Site Suggests

"Human attraction and human mating are obviously incredibly complex things," said Dr. James Evans, professor of genetics and director of the adult genetics program at the University of North Carolina  Chapel Hill. "They are dependent on a myriad of factors that include genetic issues but probably most importantly environmental, cultural, and psychological issues."

While it is true in some sense that people who have opposite genetic make ups could produce a "healthier" child, Evans said there are far too many variables that could negate the parents' immune system genes and affect a child, whether at birth or later in his or her life.

"We simply don't know enough yet," said Evans. "Even though there is a very slim theoretical basis for the argument that those who are most distantly related have a greater chance of producing a healthy child, we know little about it and there are so many other factors that contribute to whether an individual is happy or healthy."

The research ScientificMatch.com hinges its services on are weak, several doctors told ABC News, and are not generally regarded as being sufficient evidence to prove that DNA testing could ever result in better relationships.

"It's pretty questionable turf and the evidence and the literature on the topic are thin at best," said Dr. Michael Watson, the executive director of the American College of Medical Genetics. "[ScientificMatch.com] offers some scientific literature that goes back as far as the mid-1970s that is credible science, but making the leap to improve love life and capability is extremely tenuous."

Docs: Don't Waste Your Money


Despite Holzle's claims that ScientificMatch.com will revolutionize the world of online dating, genetic experts said that matching singles according to their genetics may only be a creative way to earn money, and not a significant medical discovery.

"[ScientificMatch.com] isn't breaking ground, it's found an interesting way to make money," said Watson. "I don't think it has enough credibility at this stage for the consumer to waste their money on it unless they have too much money."

So the handful of members who have joined the site since its inception just a few days ago may be out of luck or at least a chunk of cash.

"People are wasting their time and their money if they're hoping they'll find their soul mate from DNA analysis," said Evans. "We simply don't yet know enough about DNA or about what makes people happy."

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Gender divide: sex or family dinner?


The Gender Divide

Australian men are happiest when they are having sex or surfing the net, but women prefer to get their endorphins racing by having meals with friends and petting their pooches, according to the 2008 Australian Happiness Index.

Rest, relaxation and entertainment topped the list for both men and women in the index, with quality time with your partner also making the top four for each sex.

But that's where the similarities end.

Sex ranks as a top five activity to make men happy and surfing the internet tops even that at number three.

Sex and the internet were also top 10 choices for women to make them happy, but enjoying a family meal and playing with pets or children ranked much higher.

Eating comfort food scored in the top 10 for both sexes, but the more discerning men questioned said they preferred great food and wine or drinking with friends to reaching for the chocolate.

Despite urban myths to the contrary, shopping does not make all women happy - only 30 per cent were happiest when shopping for new clothes, shoes or accessories.

It may come as little surprise that just 14 per cent of men were happiest when shopping.

One in two women said reading a good book made them happy whereas less than one in three men said the same, and 36 per cent of generous-natured women said buying gifts made them feel joyful, compared to a miserly 19 per cent of men.

The index was compiled by marketing consultants The Leading Edge who spoke to more than 8,500 Australians aged between 18 and 64.

"Australians are made happy on a week-to-week basis, not by possessions and achievements, but by entertaining experiences and by meaningful interactions with others," The Leading Edge managing director Karen Phillips said.

The index has been designed as a marketing tool to give businesses a better picture of their target customers.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Sweetest Tweet Ever? Man Proposes Via Twitter


Sweetest Tweet Ever? Man Proposes Via Twitter
By Lewis Wallace

(UPDATE: We've got word of a previous Twitter proposal -- details below.)

A San Francisco web designer used Twitter to pop the question Thursday, asking his co-worker to marry him in what looks like might be the microblogging service's first-ever second marriage proposal.

Max Kiesler's sweet tweet at 3:13 a.m. Thursday: "To @emilychang - After fifteen years of blissful happiness I would like to ask for your hand in marriage?"

Emily Chang's reply, a minute later: "@maxkiesler - yes, i do."

Kiesler, who founded strategic design consultancy Ideacodes with Chang in 2005, confirmed Friday that the story of the proposal, as reported by Mashable, is true.

Twitter co-founder Biz Stone said Kiesler's proposal could, indeed, be a historic moment for the microblogging service, which has grown in popularity since making headlines at South by Southwest in 2007.

"It's hard to confirm for certain that it is the very first marriage proposal over Twitter," wrote Stone in an e-mail to Wired.com. "It may well be the first public marriage proposal over Twitter (some accounts are protected)."

We're looking forward to the possible live twittering of the wedding ceremony.

UPDATE: Stephanie Sullivan of W3Conversions e-mailed Friday to report that she and her fiancee, Greg Rewis, got engaged March 2 via Twitter. The couple live in different cities and travel constantly, so the tweet engagement made sense for them.

"I thought it was the most romantic proposal ever!" writes Sullivan. "And he surprised me with the ring when we met on my layover in PHX (on our way to SXSW to speak)."

Here's the current contender for first Twitter proposal:

The proposal: "@stefsull - ok. for the rest of the twitter-universe (and this is a first, folks) - WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

Sullivan's reply: "@garazi - OMG - Ummmmm... I guess in front of the whole twitter-verse I'll say -- I'd be happy to spend the rest of my geek life with you."

Rewis' justification for using Twitter rather than getting down on bended knee or using another, more modern, proposal ritual: "Screw Times Square! THIS, my friends, is the way to propose to a beautiful, wonderful woman!"

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Brits value sex and in-laws, Web dating company finds


Brits value sex and in-laws, Web dating company finds
By Georgina Prodhan

LONDON (Reuters) - Being too tired for sex is less of a problem for married Britons than for U.S. or Australian couples, and Brits place more importance on agreeing on how to handle their in-laws, online dating company eHarmony has found.

U.S.-based eHarmony, which boasts 118 marriages every day in the United States and launches in Britain this week, says married people in Britain are also more satisfied with how they share household chores and how much time they spend together.

"Brits tend to be more consensual," eHarmony Chief Executive Gregory Waldorf told Reuters in an interview.

He said the company's researchers had found that stereotypes of uptight Britons sleeping in separate beds were outdated. "Research indicates that British people have moved beyond that."

Happy U.S. couples tend to laugh together, exchange ideas and confide in each other more and kiss more frequently. They also have more arguments, get on each others' nerves more and talk about divorce more frequently, eHarmony found.

Australians report most overall happiness with their marriages and tend to work on projects together more frequently than their British or U.S. counterparts. They also report the least concern that their spouse does not show them love often enough.

EHarmony specializes in matching heterosexual singles for long-term relationships and marriage, based on answers members give to more than 200 questions about their personality it asks them to answer when they register.

Unlike other online dating sites, users are not able to browse photos and profiles of other members and contact them at will, but are matched by eHarmony using algorithms the company has developed and refined over years.

Members can specify a few parameters, such as their views on the drinking and smoking habits and the religion and ethnicity of potential matches. They can also elect not to be matched with people who already have children.

"Religion as a self-select is much less important in the UK than the U.S.," said Sean Cornwell, head of the company's international business.

NO MARRIEDS


EHarmony does not accept members who are already married, have been married more than three times, or those it judges to be emotionally unfit to enter a relationship, such as the severely clinically depressed.

Waldorf said the company would consider starting a service for homosexuals looking for long-term relationships -- "We are always looking for new market opportunities" -- but had no current plans to do so.

Users must become paying members before they can see photos or communicate with their matches. In Britain, the service will cost 34.95 pounds ($61.78) for a month, or 14.95 pounds per month for a six-month period after a seven-day free trial.

"EHarmony tends to attract people who stay longer," Waldorf said. He declined to say how long, on average, it took until members found a long-term partner.

Privately held eHarmony was launched in the United States in 2000 by Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist with more than 35 years of experience in marriage counseling.

With a team of researchers, he spent three years finding out which personal characteristics make for compatibility between couples before the launch.

Before going live in Britain, eHarmony spent about a year working with researchers at England's Oxford Internet Institute to gather compatibility characteristics unique to Britain by interviewing married couples.

The company also offers online dating services in Canada, and said it would likely start in other European countries outside Britain next year.

But finding the right research partner is as essential for eHarmony as it enters new markets as it is for singles seeking love, said Waldorf, who is still married to his first wife -- a friend of a cousin whom he met on a blind date.

"We can't move forward until we've found the right partner."

Monday, November 3, 2008

Back Plus One!






















Tons of thanks to everyone who has sent us congrats on our new baby girl.


She's a dream...has been a great sleeper, and only cries when hungry (that's an easy fix) or gassy (and well, I know the feeling). For that matter, she came out smiling. This is no joke, two of the nurses in the room commented on it. I have pics.

Pardon the gushing parent routine, but I felt like I knew her, like I could understand what she wanted and other than the usual ones, I've had no horrible first time parent jitters. Sorta feels like I've done this before. Of course, I haven't been a parent before, and for that matter I've spent about two seconds total around babies, given I'm an only child. Still, this baby thing has been...great. I'm happy, mostly relaxed, and just rolling with it.

More pics of baby to come online soon! Love, RR

Online couple turn out to be neighbours

Online couple turn out to be neighbours

British couple who met on a dating website turned out to be neighbours who had lived only a few houses apart for 17 years, a report says.

Teacher Julie McIlroy began emailing electrician Allan Donnelly after seeing his picture on a dating website, an increasingly common way of meeting people with the rapid rise of broadband internet access.

It was only after several weeks of online contact that the 46-year-old phoned him - and realised they lived seven houses apart on the same street in the Welsh capital Cardiff.

"While we were chatting I said I'd just been to the shop. He said that was the shop he always went to," she told the South Wales Echo. "When he told me he lived in (the same street), I thought it was a wind up."

"I was stunned... He asked me over for a cup of tea, and that was that," she said, while Donnelly, 53, added: "We've got the perfect compatibility. I'm a very lucky man."

The couple are now planning to marry.
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